Ayatollah Pat Robertson Issues Fatwa (Who Would Jesus Assassinate?)

Ayatollah Pat Robertson Issues Fatwa for Venezuelan President





Baptists. America’s own Taliban.









What was that “Thou Shalt not Kill” thing again?



Obviously “Thou Shalt not Kill” doesn’t apply to Pat Robertson. Actually, he might have dodged a bullet (no pun intended) on this one. See, God didn’t actually say, “Thou Shalt not Assassinate” or “Thou Shalt not ‘Take Out’ World Leaders Whom You Don’t Like”. You gotta be specific with the Baptists, you know.

So I guess all that’s left is to pray for Pat.

Take a moment and visit the 700 Club website and enter a Prayer Request for Pat. I welcome you to use my personal prayer I sent him under the heading: Suicide.



Please pray for the Ayatollah Pat Robertson, whose lifelong quest for power and political prestige has culminated in a tortured, unhinged and psychologically scarred shell of a man, so distressed that he has called for the assassination of the president of another country. Obviously he is a broken little man and his bitterness has become too much for him to bear while maintaining any semblance of sanity. Please pray that Pat Robertson can find the strength of character to end his suffering by committing suicide. Pray that he kills himself quickly.
Pray that God in her bountiful wisdom will be as merciful and forgiving with Pat Robertson as Pat Robertson was himself with his enemies.
And give a quick shout-out to Jesus that Pat’s buddy Rush Limbaugh can write himself another prescription and score some good shit like a bag of Oxy-Contins to aid Pat on his journey to final slumber and one-way ticket to everlasting judgment.
Amen.



700 Club Online Prayer