Random Acts of Googlism

The Young and the Restless and The Wicked
You ever hear something along the lines of "Practice Random Acts of Kindness"? Well, I whole-heartedly believe in it and do just that...with one caveat: only for stray animals and wilted plants. Otherwise, as far as I'm concerned, if you've evolved enough to belong to the Human Race, you're just S.O.L. So, just consider the fact that you're not one of my ex-fiances to be my Random Act of Kindness to you.

With sincere apologies to Luke, David, Christian and Gordon. Hope things worked out for ya'll.

You can't say I don't try. This is my version of "Random Acts of Cool-Stuff-That-Will-Hook-You-Like-Crack"
You'll think it's great now...but in an hour or two, you'll be cursing my name. It's called Googlism. Now let me explain it first, dammit...then you can go get addicted. The site works with what Google has pulled up over time with certain words and phrases. You type in a word, a name, a date, a phrase...almost anything. Then it displays sentences, or parts of sentences that contain that word or phrase or date. The fun part is seeing what comes up when you put your name or whatever in, (It can get wild sometimes) and then just go from there. Try your birthday, anything you can think of ... naughty words are especially hilarious...so are ex-boyfriend's/girlfriend's/wife's/husband's names (for those of you so viciously inclined.) This is a short example listing of words and names...the link for Googlism is at the end.

One quick hint: Type in any word and you'll get results...you may have to work a little to get a more specific result. For example, typing in "sex" gets you pages of results. Typing "hot wild rabid throbbing sex" gets you nada. Typing in dania gets pages of results, but typing in Dania Goode Jones Davis or Dania Goode-Jones results in, well... In other words, the less specific, the more results and the more specific the fewer results.
But you're still gonna try wild throbbing sex, though, aren't you? Christ no one listens to me anymore. Fine, in the meantime...

Here are My Googlisms:


(First Thing I Typed In? My Name)
Googlism for: dania


dania is located in dania beach florida
dania is an antique lovers dream
(I wonder how much I would fetch at Sotheby's)
dania is characterized by elegance
dania is a very creative little girl
(Oh, you have NO idea how creative)
dania is an ergonomically designed seat suitable for most care applications
(Hmmmm)
dania is also available for individual appointments
(I usually don't advertise that)
dania is in the kitchen
(Wrong Dania)
dania is seeing snook and lots of jacks
(How the hell does anyone know about that?)
dania is typically traveled in under eight hours
(Not if he knows what he's doing)
dania is undergoing phased improvements
(Is that what I'm supposed to call it?)
dania is the place to go
dania is back



(Then My Birthday)
Googlism for: october 25

october 25 is the 298th day of the year
october 25 is crazy hair day
october 25 is 100 % non refundable
(Damn Straight! My Birthday SHOULD be guaranteed)
october 25 is punk for a day day
october 25 is an exciting day for us
(Isn't my birthday an exciting day for everyone?)
october 25 is a big day
(Deserving of big presents and big gifts)
october 25 is red reach out day


(Just Wanted to See)
Googlism for: my mother-in-law

(ya'll remember the website pulled these up, not me.)

my mother-in-law is trying to take over my life
my mother-in-law is so french
my mother-in-law is driving me insane
my mother-in-law is for sale/lease seriously


(Tried Another One)
Googlism for:
your ex-boyfriend


your ex-boyfriend is from the past
your ex-boyfriend is an asshole
your ex-boyfriend is a white wizard?
your ex-boyfriend is very confused




(And What Goes with Your Ex-Boyfriend?)
Googlism for:
my bedroom
(save your emails...i already know i'm evil)


my bedroom is already off grid
my bedroom is just to the left
my bedroom is quite weird
my bedroom is large orange
my bedroom is not my father's oldsmobile


(There's Even a Suggestion Section)
Googlism for: your head

your head is broken
your head is older than your feet
your head is possibly the most annoying thing in the world
your head is not required
your head is a rollicking fun album that exalts the freedom to have a dirty good time

(You Know I Had to Try This One)
Googlism for: the end of the world



the end of the world is not april 6
the end of the world is march 21st 2008
the end of the world is published on a semi
the end of the world is more than a golf thriller
the end of the world is a touching story of a man's return to his hometown after many years away


(You Don't Want to Know How My Mind Works)
Googlism for: my butt

my butt is just a big mac on the planet alderaan
my butt is raised and ready for entry sir
my butt is holy
my butt is disappearing
my butt is haunted
my butt is covered with soft fur
my butt is bwibwating; hey!
my butt is a dartboard
my butt is going to say something
my butt is growing again
my butt is green
my butt is a emergency parachute
my butt is happy

Oh believe me, there are some FREAKS out there in this world. I don't care what your secret, kinky, twisted, get-your-freak-on thing might be; I can promise you there are thousands and thousands more out there with the same high-heeled, leather-wearing midget-whipping fetish.
Actually, you'll probably have to specify whether you prefer a red-headed midget and spiked heels or red high-heels and a midget with spiked hair.

Now, go practice some Random Acts of Googlism yourself.


DED