What's Wrong With This Picture?
I've heard of having money to burn, but this is ridiculous. I mean really ridiculous. A special kind of stupid, really. The kind of U.S.-Government-$50,000-Grant-To-Study-Bovine(Cow)-Flatulance(Farts) kind of insanity.
But what the hell...I love watching stupid people. As long as they don't irritate me or involve me in any aspect of their lives. And since I decided not to post a "wish list" page on this site, and it's getting close to October, maybe ya'll can pick up some ideas for my birthday.
Yeah, that's it. Get me the candle. I'll use it to beat you over the head and hopefully take you out of the gene pool before you breed.
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The Jo Malone Signature Candle - $345.00
$345.00
From the website: "Reminiscent of the scent of limes carried on a Caribbean Sea breeze, Lime Basil & Mandarin has become a modern classic for men and women. Lime Basil & Mandarin Luxury Candle envelops a room and lingers for hours to create an ambience of warmth, sophistication and style. It is the ultimate luxury."
From the Voice of Reason: It's a f*cking candle.
However, if a tall, handsome guy named Raol from the Carribbean is going to hand-deliver my $345.00 candle and he's going to "envelop and linger for hours"...well, now then, I might have to recommend this item.
Like candles and have $345 to burn? Click away.
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The Shun 23 Piece Knife Set - $2,500.00
*Buy them as a set you get a price break, though.
23 piece Shun Classic BlockSet -
Retail $2698.85 and up
On Sale $1849.00
From the Website: The carbon layered steel Damascus Clad blade is the sharpest and strongest blade made. The edges are hair splitting and remains throughout heavy use. Open stock retail value of $2500 if purchased separately. Free Bamboo Cutting Board and Free Shipping! A perfect gift idea for anyone who appreciates the highest quality and has everything.
From the Voice of Reason: Oh yeah, they're pretty. Of course, when your spouse discovers you spent $2500 on a set of knives, you're probably not going to want her to find them.
Got about $2000.00 and can sleep with 1 eye open?
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The Northland Masters Series Refrigerator - $10,000.00
Northland Master Series - $10,000.00
Northland Kitchen & Appliance
From the Website:You'll never want for fridge space with this six-foot-wide appliance by Northland. The Master Series refrigerator offers more than 48 cubic feet of storage space. And while stainless steel is nothing new for high-end appliances, Northland is the only maker to offer the material inside its home refrigerators. Your only problem will be finding enough caviar to fill the thing.
From the Voice of Reason: And it will make a nicer place to live in than a cardboard box when you can't afford your mortgage anymore.
Got a spare $10K and LOTS of leftovers?
or call 800-223-3900
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Crown Verity 72" Stainless Steel Grill. - $7500.00
Wait a minute...What is this doing in here? This is perfectly reasonable. Christ. Look at the craftmanship. The lines on that baby. Hold the hell up. Now we're going into sacred territory. This is bar-b-que we're speaking of. Don't f*ck with a Southern girl and her grill.
CROWN VERITY INC.
72" Outdoor Grill Model MCB-72 - (A Very Reasonable) $7500.00
The Website AND the Voice of Reason say:
If you need a very large cooking surface with a professional look, then this is the grill for you. Hell, who cares about need? Need is all relative when it comes to bar-b-que and grills anyway. Just trust me on this one. I NEED this grill...uh...I mean...You, you need. Yeah, that's it.
So, what can this grill do? Everything except the hunting.
Sweet jesus I'm still breathing hard. This grill features 10 sweet burners, together producing 159,000 btus (flames...heat...WAY too easy, not gonna go there). It's made from all stainless steel, and has locking casters. It uses radiant plates (stainless) and has a flame taming system. It also includes one side shelf.
God, I'm still not going to be right. It's like I've seen the Holy Grail. Which, in an odd, Southern-Grilling-Contextual kind of way, I guess I have. And for $7500? For the love of all things holy, this is something that gets passed down to your daughters. I guess you men could pass it on to your sons, as well.
Go visit the Holy Land of Grills:
Even better - Go visit the Holy Land of Sales:
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Remember...October.
posted by DaniaElizabeth @ 8:08 PM
2 Comments:
Still no comment !!!
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Meat Slicer
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