IQ, UQ, We All Q

The MENSA Affliction

Why do I do this to myself? Seriously. Why? A while back, in some rambling, half-assed conversation with my neighbor/landlord, I mentioned Mensa. He inquired further as to how I knew about the group and I admitted that I had been accepted into Mensa years ago, and hoped the conversation about all things Mensa would stop there.
Well, F*CK no it didn't. (Sorry, Jim, seriously, no offense intended). I'm reliving my college and high school years when friends would find out, usually by stumbling(read: snooping) across mail that had a newsgram or mailer or something from Mensa addressed to me. And then it was just full-f*cking on.

"So, you're in Mensa, huh? What's the capitol of...?Who was the
President when...? What country has...? If 2 trains leave Chicago
at the same time...?"

And it just got worse. Of course my friends were cool, but jesus, we were all a little mouthy when we drank. I remember one night Roxanne or Kathleen getting into it with an even mouthier little troglodyte. The sum of their discourse was that in the area of intelligence, men were superior. Actually, by the time I got dragged into it, I was surprised the little freak was still alive and had his head still attached to his body, but that's another story.
I got volunteered like this:

"Alright then smart ass, prove it. This is Dania and she's in
Mensa. You and your friends ask her any 5 questions you want.
And then we'll ask you 5 questions. Whoever gets the most right
pays the other guys' bar tab."

So, after all this provocation and 3 pitchers of draft bud light and 4 shots each of Cuervo too many, with my friends Kathleen, Shaun and Roxanne by my side to cheer me on...well, damn, it wasn't like I could back down. I figured I could just kill my
friends later.

Turns out the little weasle was a Star Trek freak. We DID say ANY 5 questions. He figured I didn't know anything about the show. How sad for him. His first couple of questions were "What was Captain Kirk's middle name?" (Tiberius) and "Who was Spock supposed to marry?" (T'pring). Thank god my first fiance, no, wait, that was the second...oh hell, thank god one of them was a stone-cold Trekkie who ate, drank and breathed everything Star Trek. The rest of his questions were dull history.
To make a funny story short, we won the bet.

But back to the Mensa thing...I really meant it when I called it an Affliction. It's even worse now. Like with my neighbor. People find out, they bring you anything resembing an IQ test. They e-mail everything they find on the web...followed with "What was your score? How long did it take you?" All of of a sudden you're the new lab rat and everyone wants to play. I've discovered the best way to convince friends that you're really tired of playing is just to bite them.
Of course, some of these tests are fun...some are serious and some are just downright wicked and oh-my-god-i've-got-to-get-so-and-so-to-take-this-funny. If anyone is interested, there are some cool sites to try out:

PsychologyToday

TickleTests(Another Dania Fetish)

Who Want to be a Millionaire Style Quiz

DENSA QUIZ (aka Dania is a wicked bitch)

One last thing of note. Mensa and Relationships.
Yeah, helpful hint here guys and girls. Keep the Mensa thing to yourself. You'll get out more. People look at Mensa members like this:
Guys and Girls who are below the Hottie line -
The Guys might as well have Nerd with No Social Skills stamped on their forehead.
The Girls might as well have a sign "Never Goes Out and Doesn't Like to be Touched"
Guys and Girls who are lucky/unlucky enough to qualify as Hotties -
The Guys - when a girl finds out you're in Mensa, she decides, "Arrogant Bastard"
The Girls - when a guys finds out you're in Mensa, he decides, "Know-It-All Bitch"

So, if you are still interested in Mensa (jesus doesn't anyone listen to me?) and want to find out what you need to do to gain membership, or find out if you've already taken a test that qualifies you for membership, check out the info here on their home page:

MENSA International